"Paraclete".
This word comes from the Greek word

 parakletos {par-ak'-lay-tos} which literally means "summoned,
or called to one's side, esp.  called to one's aid".
This is an interesting word, because it is one name used for the Holy Spirit. 
The Holy Spirit is called to the side of God the Father for His aid.
Because of this, this word also has to do with the concept of marriage,
the way it was intended in the beginning. In the first marriage. 

Even though we think of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, and Jesus as all being
different facets of the One True God, we must address the fact that there ARE
these three different facets. Someone once said that if you were to look at Jesus,
that you'd be looking at a photograph of God.

A marriage has three facets also, the husband, the wife, and God.

The word Paraclete (parañkleôtos) is a rather complicated word with 
several shades of meaning. This word occurs in John 14:16, 26; 15:26; and 16:7, and  1 John 2:1, and refers to the Holy Spirit. The word means literally, 

?called to one's side? for help. 

(International Standard Bible Encyclopedia) As used in this context the word
describes  a facet of the Holy Spirit of God. Paraclete is however also a typological
expression of the  role of a wife.

I've listened to numerous sermons that taught man has a model, namely that of Jesus.
So the husband should follow the example of Jesus. This is true, but this is where the 
sermon stopped. Husbands should love their wife in the same selfless way
Christ loves us. 
But what model do wives have?

Paraclete. 

Just as God is made up of three personalities, but remains one person, 
a marriage is made up of three personalities but remains one entity.
The husband, the wife, and Christ. This is a whole marriage.
 

The Bible tells us in the second chapter of Genesis, that ?But for Adam no suitable helper was 
found?. This shows us that  firstly that man needs a helper.  This passage doesn't sound to 
me like man had too much work for him to handle, but I see this statement rather to mean, 
that all the other creatures had a mate, and man was lonely, or unfulfilled. If you read a bit 
further we see that ?So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while 
he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the 
LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to 
the man. The man said, ?This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall 
be called ?woman,? for she was taken out of man.? 

The translation of these words means literally that woman was taken 

?from the side of man?. 

Remember the word paraclete? Paraclete means ?called to one's side?. In every 
sense, Eve was called, or summoned,  to the ?side of Adam?. Just as Paraclete is used to 
speak of one facet of God, namely the Holy Spirit, paraclete is also used to speak of one 
facet of man, namely his wife. 
------------------
(òìÈöÅ, ceôlaô?, äòÈìÀöÇ, cal?aôh; Aramaic òìÇòÂ, ?aõla?): The Hebrew words designate 
the ?side,? ?flank,? thence the ?ribs.?   International Standard Bible Encyclopedia
------------------

Genesis 1:27 
 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created 
him; male  and female he created them.

The first mention of man and woman in the Bible has an unusual phrasing. He created ?him?, 
male and female He created ?them?. Mankind is made up of both male and female. 
What I'm trying to explain, which is very difficult because marriage is but one mystery of 
?The Church?. 

Man is not the ?person? of a marriage and the woman is his helper. This situation
 requires a separation of some kind. I'm trying to emphasize the fact that God calls for us to not 
have a separation. The thing that caused the separation written about here in Genesis was sin. 

Today, the thing that separates man and woman in marriage is sin. This sin can take 
several forms. Pride, fear, rejection, failure to forgive, anger, career ambitions, 
misunderstanding, lust for others, stubbornness, and a lot of other things can separate, 
a married couple. Anything that separates a married couple is sin. So why do we hear 
such ridiculous excuses as, ?well, we just grew apart?. If God bonded you together, 
and you are each half of a whole, 

you didn't ?grow? apart, you ?chose? apart. 

I would like to say something about marriage before I get any further in this study. 

It is completely possible for one person to destroy a marriage.

Many times people in the Church are very judgmental about those in the Church that
have been divorced. Unless you now the actual situation, don't jump to too many
decisions until after you know the facts. You never know  if YOUR spouse will
suddenly freak out and you might end up divorced. They won't even have to ask
you if you care if they destroy your marriage, they may just do it!
I usually hear some pretty stupid clichés regarding this issue too.  
?It takes two to tango?, which I guess means whenever 
a marriage fails its because both people helped it to fail. This can be true, but it isn't 
always true. ?Most marriages crash on the seventh year?, which I guess means that it is 
just the nature of being married to self-destruct. It isn't. What do these sayings have to do 
with anything?  Most of us just aren't willing to say that our sin nature makes it nearly 
impossible to maintain a loving relationship for a long time. But whether or not we are 
willing to admit this fact, it is nonetheless, a fact.  For us to say that marriages self-destruct 
is an insult to God, the creator of marriage, and to say that God creates defective things. 

Each of us has free will. That means that we can ?chose? what we do. The idea marriages 
self-destruct is a really stupid idea and it shows a lack of understanding of anything 
scriptural. This view is one side of stupidity. The other really stupid view is the complete 
opposite. This is the idea that if you do everything you should in marriage, that the 
other person will automatically do what they should. Well, did Adam and Eve? Do you? 

Who could ask for a better situation than Adam and Eve? Yet they ?chose? rebellion and 
disbelief. Just like you can go home, and ?choose? to light your home on fire without asking 
your spouse, you can also ?choose? to destroy your marriage. Sounds too outrageous? 

What about somebody that does something less obvious? What about going out for a drink 
with someone of the opposite sex from work. And then having another drink, and 
then another. This person probably didn't purposely plan to destroy their marriage 
by having an adulterous relationship when they left the office. But this person did 
purposely plan to flirt with danger, first by getting into a situation when they might be 
tempted by sexual attraction, and secondly by purposely impairing their judgment 
with a chemical. So, two stupid and non purposeful moves may very well have the same 
effect as one calculated and purposeful one. What did the spouse of this person have to 
do with the destruction of trust and fidelity within their marriage. Nothing. 

As Christians, we must stop destroying other Christians by simply repeating ridiculous 
clichés and old sayings, instead of getting a bit uncomfortable and actually finding out 
what happened. The truth about marriage is that it is a very difficult thing to do, which 
will take all of your time, and all of your effort, but that it can also be one of the most 
rewarding things you will ever do
.
Being married, with Christ as the focus, is difficult but very rewarding. 

Trying to be married without Christ as the focus is nearly impossible, 
and is only a shadow of the fulfillment
you will experience, by participating in marriage the way it was intended.

The other thing that everybody needs to know, is that marriage can be extremely 
dangerous to your emotions. 
Trusting another person with your emotions, 
your innermost thoughts, 
your fears, 
your dreams, 
and your goals, 
can be an extremely dangerous thing to do.

The best way you can determine if your potential spouse
will respond to your love, is to see how they have responded
to God's love!

In other words, if a person has heard of God's love, and of Jesus' death on the cross
to redeem them, and they have responded, you can know that some part of their 
heart is still tender, and they will probably respond to love. On the other hand, if they learn
that Jesus  died a horrible death to redeem them, and this has no effect on their
emotions, they will certainly be lacking in their response to your love as well.
This is a person with a hard heart. If they rejected the love of God, then I'm sorry to say,
but they will respond even less to your love.

Why is marriage so difficult?

One reason is that we are constantly fighting with our sin nature. The other reason this is 
an extremely dangerous thing to do, is that Satan is constantly trying to destroy marriage. 
He has a good track record of doing this too. Satan helped to destroy the unity of the 
first marriage, and he has attempted to destroy every marriage ever since. God can 
prevent him from destroying your marriage though. Satan didn't create marriages, God 
did. This means that the fabric of marriage is stronger than Satan, and that the power of 
God is also stronger than that of Satan. Satan was created, and he corrupted himself into 
the evil being that he is today. Satan will also try to corrupt your marriage to a  pattern of evil. 

God will preserve your marriage in a pattern of unity, because God's pattern is unity. Why 
is this? Because sin is the divider. Satan is the father of sin. For you to have a Godly 
marriage, you need to eliminate sin in your marriage. You need to remove any separation 
between both of you, and you must make your unity the single most important issue second 
only to your commitment of being a Christian.

Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden 
to work it and take care of it.

The first married couple was Adam and Eve. They lived and worked in the garden, and 
they were one. Eve was Adam's paraclete. Adam and Eve were not separated by work, 
they accomplished things together. Numerous people have said to my wife and myself, 
?Wow, its amazing that you guys can work together everyday, and live together?. What the 
heck does that mean? I think the translation to that comment is - ?You can be together as a 
couple as long as you severely limit the time you spend together?? So why are you married? 
 

A marriage is a whole, made up of three parts, the husband, the wife, and Christ.
 
Just because one person is completely dedicated to the marriage,
if the other person stops trying, the marriage will fail. 
It is our failing and not that of God's.

The Bible teaches holistic marriage, which man has confused and complicated. Adam and 
Eve worked AND lived in the garden. And they performed as a team.

Eve was Adam's paraclete,
the one made FROM his side,
and called TO his side,
to be his other half.
His partner.

Genesis 2:18 - 25 
The LORD God said, ?It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a 
helper suitable for him.? Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground 
all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the 
man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each 
living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, 
the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. 

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the 
man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the 
man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made 
a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to 
the man. The man said,  ?This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my 
flesh; she shall be called ?woman,? for she was taken out of man.? For this 
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and 
they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, 
and they felt no shame.

?It is not good for man to be alone?. This verse goes on to explain that ?I will make a 
helper suitable for him?. The word ?I? is an important thing to notice in these verses. 
Many Bible experts have tried to change the authorship from Moses to another writer, 
or a group of writers. Why does this matter? Because of the authority of the writing. 
That is not the focus of what has been written. The writer clearly states that God made 
this statement. This is not any man's opinion, but is the actual words of God. As Christians, 
we need to stop, take a big breath, and listen to what it is that God is trying to say to 
us. ?I will make a helper suitable for him?, tells us that woman was designed and 
created by God. This also tells us that Eve was designed and created to be a helper, 
the  ?perfect? helper for Adam. 

This is not a picture of conflict that God is drawing for us here, but rather 
of perfect harmony. Also, please notice, the use of the word ?man? and ?woman?. 
There is no name for the woman mentioned in these verses. There is no mention of Adam 
until Genesis 2:19, when Adam has a name, but the woman is still nameless. Until the fall 
of man, man and woman were called man and woman. Then man and woman are called 
?Adam?. They are part of a whole. Now, I have heard a lot of people go on and on about 
the woman ?giving up her name to take on the name of the husband?. I don't know if 
this is a left over sentiment of the failed feminist movement or what. The woman taking on 
the man's name simply represents the wife (woman) becoming known as the same name as 
the husband (man). The woman is simply (figuratively) discovering the name that she has 
lost in the garden when sin separated her from her husband. The woman and the man 
are reunited in the manner first intended by God. Marriage is a representation of the first 
union of half man and half woman, before sin destroyed the unity shared between them. 
The argument that woman is forced to give up her name and takes on the name of 
the husband completely ignores the original intention of God, and the entire 
concept of paraclete. 

Let's do an experiment.

Take a look around you, and find a book or some other written material. Open the 
book and hold it in front of you. Now open the book to the seventh page. Now look 
at the seventh line on the seventh page. Now look at the seventh word of the seventh 
line, on the seventh page. Point to that word with your index finger. 

Which finger did you use? 

That is your dominant hand. Did you have an argument with yourself, or did 
you just point to the word like I asked you to do? 

This is what God expects of us as a married couple. 

We should react just like that when God calls us to do something for Him. 
God has designed us to work as a team to accomplish the things He has put in front of 
us, rather than focusing on the separation between us. The separation is sin. One hand 
is holding the book you chose, and one hand is pointing to the seventh word. You 
couldn't have succeeded in your task if you had to stop and argue with your hands as 
to which hand would hold the book, and which hand would point to the word. 

Many married couples repeat this pattern of conflict each time they attempt to 
complete a task. Did you notice an argument break out between your two hands over 
which got to be called the ?right? hand, and which had to take the left over name ?left? 
hand? Probably not. If this had been the case, the argument would have taken 
precedence over holding the book, and you would not have succeeded in opening 
the book and pointing to the word. Many marriages never progress beyond this 
ridiculous point. 

In the verses in Genesis before the fall of man, there is no separation, man and woman 
are bonded together as one being. This is a bit like your right hand and your left 
hand working together. 

In Genesis 3:6 we see that the woman has already eaten some of the forbidden fruit. 
She has also already given some of the forbidden fruit to her ?husband? and he 
also ate it.

Genesis 3:6 
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food 
and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she 
took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who 
was with her, and he ate it.

The term ?husband? shows that the first couple God created were joined in 
marriage. The man and woman are together holistically, or, as a whole. They acted 
together, as a whole. Or in other words, as one person. The Hebrew word translated 
as "rib" in Genesis 2:21 is the word

 tsela` {tsay-law'} or (fem.) tsal`ah {tsal-aw'} which literally means  "side", but it 
can also be translated as "chamber", "rib" ,  or "beam". It can also translated as the 
"side chamber or cells of the temple structure, or the "side" of the ark.  Eve was taken 
from, or makes up the side chamber of Adam, and together they are the body. Both 
the man and the woman together make up the whole of the body.  This union was 
created by God, and the unity of the body is maintained by God. The Bible teaches us 
that the body is the temple of God. The marriage is the temple of love.

Sin came between the man and the woman, and the union was damaged. The 
separation is painfully obvious when Adam tells God, ?She gave me some fruit 
from the tree and I ate it?. Not much unity here is there?

Genesis 3:8 - 13 
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as 
he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from 
the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God 
called to the man, ?Where are you?? He answered, ?I heard 
you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.? 
And he said, ?Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from 
the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?? The man said, ?The 
woman you put here with me?she gave me some fruit from the tree, and 
I ate it.? Then the LORD God said to the woman, ?What is this 
you have done?? The woman said, ?The serpent deceived me, and I ate.?

The Bible teaches us that our relationship with God is like a marriage, by calling the 
Church the ?bride?, and Jesus the ?bridegroom?.  The first use of the word bride in the 
Bible is in Genesis 34:12 ?Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great 
as you like, and I?ll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the girl as my wife.? You 
can see here that when a groom chooses a bride, there is a price to be paid. In the 
analogy of the Church being the bride, and Jesus being the groom, Jesus paid the 
ultimate price for the bride. His life. This took a great deal of love, the kind of love that a 
groom is to show his bride, the same kind of love that Jesus showed us by His 
willingness to be crucified..

The thing that binds us together with God, is love. Love comes from God. Love is a 
really big thing, in fact it is so big that it is really difficult to even describe. If you ask 
100 people, you will probably get several hundred descriptions of what love is. Is it 
any wonder then, WHY we struggle keeping our relationships together? Love binds a 
married couple together, but we can't even adequately describe what love is. God is 
love. Ever heard that? I love that statement. It helps clear up a lot of confusion as to why 
the world is so messed up. By rejecting God, we reject love. Without love, what's left? 
Hatred - the absence of love ... or, the absence of God. Another saying I really like is 
?Love is a decision?. This statement is also true. Make the decision to live in a state of 
love, with God's help.

If God is love, and love binds our marriage together, and we want to maintain our 
marriage relationship, we must know as much as possible about God. Unfortunately 
this is not the course most married couple choose to take. Make the decision today, to 
learn everything you can regarding the nature of God, nurture your relationship with 
God, and your marriage will prosper. If you abandon your relationship with God, the 
love, the glue that holds your marriage together will quickly dissolve and your 
marriage will fail.

Children

What happens to children when parents divorce? MANY families have been devastated
by divorce, but nobody suffers more than the children.

1980, 77 percent of all children under 18 lived with two parents!

1990, 73 percent of all children under 18 lived with two parents!

2000, 69 percent of all children under 18 lived with two parents!

Sources: The U.S Census Bureau, National Vital Statistics Reports
at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

If this trend continues, soon there will be very few children living with both parents.
Four million children live in their grandparents home, and only 14 percent of these have both parents living with them!

Three in 10 children under 18 were living with their single father
and their dad's unmarried partner in 2002

According to the National Marriage Project,
37 percent of men grew up in non-traditional families,  and the
"men from non-traditional families were found to be more mistrustful of women,
and more likely to have "live together" relationships with women,
cohabitating without benefit of marriage."

Read this article again, pray about it, and make it a part of YOUR marriage!

Amen.    Franz Sigel Shroy